the quarter life crisis

funny how when you seem to be having discussions or conversations with the 'intellectual' group you start realising certain things yourself.. what we seem to name as the 'quarter life crisis' for the the above 24 - below 35 crowd.. it's when you've started moving along with the crowd and suddenly you start feeling insecure and wonder where you'll be in a year or two. you start noticing qualities in yourself which you might want to change,realization dawns and you notice that people who are/were close to you and nice and sweet to you aren't really that great! and the people you did think were the meanest are actually not that bad at all.

Opinions have gotten stronger. you see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and am constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.. MOVE FORWARD! (hate these words)

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved / liked could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and have the crazy ceiling conversations every night wondering why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but are to scared to accept it and confront him/her about whats going on. One night stands and random hook ups have always seemed cheap and continue to do so. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

the million thoughts rushing through your mind every second day/night about finding 'The One' and not going through a hundred in the shack! and for once you wouldn't mind standing tall to that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions & questions over and over again and keep having the discussions with your friends - as much as you know nothings going to work , your hunting for support for you to make your decision, b'cause clearly you can't seem to make a decision!

worries about loans,money,the future and making a life for yourself take centrestage and as much as you want to be ahead in the race , at this point in time you just want to be a contender!

so yeah... atleast from the conversations with the 'intellectual' i know am definitely not alone as i tread into the 'quarter life crisis'.

to euphoric times and blueberry cheese cake! Cheers!

"Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words." - Calvin and Hobbes

ads = trash

sitting at home and just scanning through the numerous channels that my cable has to offer..out of approx 30 minutes of a tv show almost 15 minutes goes of in advertising and the sad part is trashy advertising..there are some really good ads like the IDEA ad where AB plays a priest and helps in educationg kids in the rural areas..very social ad BUT the worst i've come across is pretty preity sitting with parents and prospective groom and in-laws and asking for their ghar ka number and when party replies that they dont have a landline she says No to the rishta.. or rather "main iss ghar mein shaadi nahi kar sakti ! " please! aren't we done showing that women can make stupid decisions in the hajaar soaps everyday and now over a stupid landline!?!?!?!

somebody please gimme a break! - a good one !

to hot dogs and chocolate milkshake and lots of calories!
cheers!

yeah am back. and man am i glad. so much has been happening..so much more still to happen..
'nessa leaving for china - rugrat getting married - phew... time's just flown by.. 'guy friend' from what i have heard is still on his partner hunt,i would probably want to feel bad for myself but i think i'll just be happy for him and get out. am still on my job hunt,ha.. law school will have to wait... till then M.A beckons...

....i can breathe again!! life without the www can make you feel handicapped!

to happiness and smiles...