conversations with the ceiling part I

so the outing wasnt great..i would've enjoyed the place had i still been in college and still had my cravings for all the poisons available (at cheaper rates) but i think i've outgrown it. the music was still good as ever.. true to it's rock 'n' roll image.. why did i drink? !? the guilt just seems to be getting more and more..after having assured myself that i was done with alcohol..why couldn't i just stick to the damn diet cola!! or a juice! missed 'Rohan'.. would've been more fun with him around. 'Guy' as always fooling around,being himself.. the totally looney character..
come to think of it,i think i just pushed myself too hard to go out. Should've probably just stayed back..even got my dinner packed up! met up with the 'vocals man' - suprise event of the evening! didn't think he would be hanging around at that place.. oh what the hell..i guess the evening wasn't that bad.. today's dry day. AND the ban on smoking gets implemented today!
so hmmmm.. am out of things to discuss.. and am not getting sleep! it's 5a.m and somebody's calling me.. oh wait.. thats my alarm going off! forgot to turn the alarm off for today.. no energy to get up and take a round.. will probably do a round in the evening.
Dila leaves today,heads back to Sri Lanka.. sigh.. i should probably just wake up and read till sleep beckons.. i am totally out of things to talk..

Cheers to a Dry Day and a holiday during the week! :)

(conversations with the ceiling will probably become a regualr part of the blog now.. since sleep doesnt seem to come to me these days.. puppah thinks its just random stress..mummah thinks its Nothing. I.. think I need sleep! )

Untitled.

so this is going to be a crazy post. a little emotional,a little back to memory lane and probably a little boring. BUT its for one of my sweetest and most adorablest buddies.. and needless to say i Love him alot and this is stupid but his going away for such a long period is making me a little emotional...Wee.Ess and me share a funny relation.. we fight,get irritated,yell,argue and probably i've had most of my 'life-altering' (if i may say) decisions being discussed with him.. and that is because i trust him with all my heart.. I want to keep this post untitled because Wee.Ess cannot be given a title as such... His going away across the seven seas (or however number of seas you cross on your way to the U.S of A) has brought back memories of people who have moved away with time.
okay,so i think this post is going to be for Connor,Mia,Jayesh,Adrian,Thapa (R.I.P) , A.J,Nisha,Arudhra,Andre,Jeremy,Jason,Joshua,Vanessa (Bugger V) and the gazillion other people who are so close to me and have left the country for better lives elsewhere.. each drop and pick to the 'International' airport , night outs,fights,intense Convo's,dance and drink parties and to all the insanity (specially missing flights :D ) i miss you all a whole lot! beautiful memories which are cherished...
Wee.Ess............... i just hope he comes back soon... it sucks to have no one to talk to and hear you out..
i think am going to scoot and try the 'two-sides-to-a-coin theory' ... but then it cant be applied to best friends. cuz you just have no other alternative for them...

Reading Gurcharan Das' 'India Unbound' - amazing writer,keeps you glued to the book.. it's probably the first non fiction book i have not given up on.. enjoying every chapter.. I think am going to borrow 'Butter Chicken in Ludhiana' from 'Guy'.. i really doubt he's read it..

to Vanilla Ice Cream and a busy weekend... Cheers!

two sides to a coin theory

Why is it that when we want something the most... we have to be patient for it and when we get it we never seem to be happy with it? does everything in life come with a complaint form?

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okay so Rugrat and me finally got to meet up and the discussion on the 'every coin has two sides to it' was in progress.. unfortunately had to leave it midway cuz her 'pati' called ;) .. BUT i did get to put it to practise saturday night..and to be honest it did work..

so the two sides to a coin theory is whenever something good or bad happens..it is always upto us to choose what how we deal with the situation.. saturday night with a lil misunderstandings and a few painful people around to rub harshness in,i decided to walk out and not ruin people's saturday night plans.. that left me with little or almost nothing to do on a saturday night. In a really mad temper , while heading towards the metro station..rugrats convo replayed in my mind and thats when i decided - the incident which happened wasnt good BUT i could either go home and sulk the rest of the evening or clear the trash in my mind and do something fun, alone OR with friends.. i chose alone. and it definitely cheered me up. A whole lot! also, chanced upon a meeting with Maverick and had a wonderful discussion on the quarter life and got a lot of meaningful thoughts.. over coffee..

so yeah.. i think two sides to a coin theory helps.. unless your with 'pati' or bf (best friends) ;) you can't try it.

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Dear God,
anger management lessons are getting a little too much.. could we have a fewer number of lessons please.. am beginning to lose my cool.. Help!

the quarter life crisis

funny how when you seem to be having discussions or conversations with the 'intellectual' group you start realising certain things yourself.. what we seem to name as the 'quarter life crisis' for the the above 24 - below 35 crowd.. it's when you've started moving along with the crowd and suddenly you start feeling insecure and wonder where you'll be in a year or two. you start noticing qualities in yourself which you might want to change,realization dawns and you notice that people who are/were close to you and nice and sweet to you aren't really that great! and the people you did think were the meanest are actually not that bad at all.

Opinions have gotten stronger. you see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and am constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.. MOVE FORWARD! (hate these words)

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved / liked could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and have the crazy ceiling conversations every night wondering why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but are to scared to accept it and confront him/her about whats going on. One night stands and random hook ups have always seemed cheap and continue to do so. You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

the million thoughts rushing through your mind every second day/night about finding 'The One' and not going through a hundred in the shack! and for once you wouldn't mind standing tall to that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.You go through the same emotions & questions over and over again and keep having the discussions with your friends - as much as you know nothings going to work , your hunting for support for you to make your decision, b'cause clearly you can't seem to make a decision!

worries about loans,money,the future and making a life for yourself take centrestage and as much as you want to be ahead in the race , at this point in time you just want to be a contender!

so yeah... atleast from the conversations with the 'intellectual' i know am definitely not alone as i tread into the 'quarter life crisis'.

to euphoric times and blueberry cheese cake! Cheers!

"Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words." - Calvin and Hobbes

ads = trash

sitting at home and just scanning through the numerous channels that my cable has to offer..out of approx 30 minutes of a tv show almost 15 minutes goes of in advertising and the sad part is trashy advertising..there are some really good ads like the IDEA ad where AB plays a priest and helps in educationg kids in the rural areas..very social ad BUT the worst i've come across is pretty preity sitting with parents and prospective groom and in-laws and asking for their ghar ka number and when party replies that they dont have a landline she says No to the rishta.. or rather "main iss ghar mein shaadi nahi kar sakti ! " please! aren't we done showing that women can make stupid decisions in the hajaar soaps everyday and now over a stupid landline!?!?!?!

somebody please gimme a break! - a good one !

to hot dogs and chocolate milkshake and lots of calories!
cheers!

yeah am back. and man am i glad. so much has been happening..so much more still to happen..
'nessa leaving for china - rugrat getting married - phew... time's just flown by.. 'guy friend' from what i have heard is still on his partner hunt,i would probably want to feel bad for myself but i think i'll just be happy for him and get out. am still on my job hunt,ha.. law school will have to wait... till then M.A beckons...

....i can breathe again!! life without the www can make you feel handicapped!

to happiness and smiles...

a couple of days more and its goodbye freedom... :( it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.. although the ransom paid to earn this month long freedom was quite heavy.. but aah what the heck.. i am having quite a blast!!!

at megs' place after ages and it feels good coming back to 2nd home... all happiness is happening!!!!!! :) :)

going for Sex and the City - not too fond of the serial, hopefully the movie isnt all that bad and ..... uhhhmmm... boring! just have a really strong feeling that am going to sleep through it...not becuz its going to be boring but maybe cuz am sleepy and tired and the day hasnt been all that great.. am sure once i get back from watching it there's going to be a nice (bad) review about it... please Lord - cane this movie be a little interesting...

and i think am going to get back to bitching and gossipping with megabytes (megs) :)

just when i think am handling things just fine i have to go mess things up real bad.. sigh.. it's when i pray for things to happen and it does happen i dont like it anymore.. 'Guy' is definitely gonna start hating me now..

3 days with Viv in town,insane amount of outings - fun/fights/craziness/happiness - this weekend has had a whole lot of mixed emotions.. Staying alone thrills but kills!! no better companion than music and books.. a week more and i shall be sitting for the blasted exams..

million thoughts - thousand dreams - floating thoughts are always hard to catch..
a message machaa had once sent which is so true.. - "प्यार के दो रूप होते है..किसी को अपना कर लो, या किसी के हो जाओ..किसी को अपना करना मुश्किल है, उससे भी मुश्किल है किसी दूसरे का हो जाना। "

did you know its hard to catch floating thoughts when its so quiet.

~~~~~~

Dear God,
Thank you! vision is just fine now.. just fine.

random jazz..

i remember reading an article at work once on a well known name news site which said that temperatures all over the world would be cooler compared to previous years!! hello!! where?? Delhi still seems to be roasting and in the coming months i don't see no signs of the temperature getting cooler...although........the weather outside has now gotten gloomy..and windy...and..err... it is drizzling..
anyhoo.. i think i shall go get some coffee with dc.



Dear God,
what are you upto? a little more clarity please..am a little wittle weak on the eyes.

scratchpad convo.

just when i get excited about finally going for R's wedding,she decides to call it off.. some women can just never get rid of their stupid ego but then again,neither can men.

ever since nikhil started playing whitesnake in the car,i've decided to get it on my ipod and its actually some good music belonging to the 80's. but nice.

just thinking...
Why is it that when we want something the most... we have to be patient for it and when we get it we never seem to be happy with it? or make do with what we have? does everything in life come with a complaint form?

de passer......doivent

so am back to "moving on".. funny how everything in life just comes back to this. end of another chapter,beginning to write a new chapter..and this too shall pass!

Dear God,
nice little trick that was. you win this time.

somewhere between heaven and hell..

I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~H.A. Overstreet


and i finally managed to watch the Grammy's with Happy Surd and Rai...it's time for some more music shopping! :)
the week hasn't been anything great - and the weekend was worse - got my flight tickets booked for next weekend's journey ; not excited about it,didn't want to go alone again.. sigh.... another birthday,another year and another chapter.. it's time to move on (i hate this word) ...

back to another crazy week tomorrow !

Happy Birthday to my favourite people A.J and 'Guy'. miss you both.loads.

happiness is happening..

So i haven't been doing much of what i've wanted to do for awhile now and its upsetting me. But i guess i have to make a comeback, can't keep sitting around and get lazier by the minute. Feel so glad that i've made my move and will gradually carry on moving forward.

feels so good to get back to writing. feels so good to be searching for ways to designing my new template. Am loving every moment of life..it's like an all time high!